I woke up today and everyone was gone. They had gone to the cinema. After drinking my coffee, I started cleaning the house they had left behind. Then I fed and gave water to the horses.
After that, I was just waiting… hoping there wouldn’t be another argument when they came back home.
And hoping my girlfriend hadn’t been drinking too much again.
But it’s Friday… so deep down, I already knew.
Sometimes I ask myself how someone can live like this.
There have already been hundreds of arguments because of her alcohol abuse. It’s getting worse. She forgets everything, like she’s slowly losing herself. I’ve explained it so many times—this way of drinking is not normal, not healthy, and never will be.
But how does an alcoholic respond?
According to her, it’s all nonsense. She believes wine is healthy.
They came home… and immediately I saw it.
She had already been drinking.
And the moment she walked in, she continued. Glass after glass after glass.
I am so exhausted from this life.
Every time she drinks, you can see it in her eyes. A certain shine. A look that says everything.
And then her personality changes.
Instantly.
She believes she’s fine, but she turns into someone else. Negative. Rude. Looking for conflict. Acting foolish. Singing loudly to old songs from her youth like a drunk person completely lost in the moment.
She struggles to speak, slurs her words, becomes aggressive.
And the worst part?
The next day… she acts like nothing ever happened.
Like it never existed.
And then it all starts again.
I can’t leave. Financially, things have never been easy, and that reality is not going to change anytime soon.
So I’m stuck.
Tomorrow is her birthday. I already know what will happen. By 6 PM, she won’t even be able to stand properly. Another argument will follow.
Sunday, she visits her father. Same story.
Monday, my birthday… she already made plans with her sister.
So again… the same cycle.
Sometimes I think… maybe in a previous life I was a terrible person.
And this is my punishment.
See you tomorrow.
